
Self Care: Stephanieâs *current* Take
Iâve gone through tremendously wild pendulum swings of self care. What it looks like to me, how I implement it in my life, dissecting what it actually means and feels like to practice it. How it feels inside of me.
Back story, if you donât know already, I used to be a hairstylist. Hairstylist with the fancy salon job and the leave in deep conditioner and the pH balancing spray and the brazlian sugaring(ouch) and the makeup, platform wedges, push up bras, shellac nails, and body scrubs. Some of what I was doing was self care. Some of it (most) was detrimental to my self.
Then I went to massage school, quit the âbeautyâ industry and unleashed my inner âhippieâ. I didnât wash my hair for months at a time, no bra, no socks, no makeup, no deodorant (I know), barefoot, music festivals, just like be Love man, everything happens for a reason. I didnât shave anything for years. I didnât wear anything name brand, I went vegetarian, cut off all my hair and swore off âbeautyâ products. Some of what I was doing was self care. Some of it was just plain unhygienic.
So you can see my wild tendencies to swing the complete opposite way right? So flash forward in my timeline, my boss reminded me that bras are a part of dress code (I now own 3(theyâre comfy)), I found a natural deodorant that works, wear makeup occasionally, still wash my hair once a month (itâs short, I can get away with it) and eat what I like (including meat).
Because some of what I was doing was because I wanted to, most of what I was doing at each level was because initially I wanted to. And then some of it became a feeling of I had to do it this way because âWill I still be respected if I donât rock 6 inch platform wedges for the full 12 hour shift?â (news flash they didnât respect me either way) or âWhat will the vegans think if I buy a name brand shirt and eat a burger?â
And so as Iâve been honing in the pendulum on self care Iâve come to some very potent realizations that are worth sharing to you. Self care changes as you change. So let it. The first time I ate meat after being a vegetarian for 2 years is still one of my favorite memories. I had been trying for so long to force my body into eating vegan for many reasons. And it simply wasnât working anymore for my body or my current lifestyle (alot can change it 2 years). So I listened to what it needed, and it needed a motherfuckinâ burger. I went to a local restaurant where they serve meat from a local butcher, ordered a burger, ate that thing with a glass of wine and parmesan fries while watching a soccer game, and let me tell you, it was absolutely fabulous. I felt so much relief and it reminded me that Iâm the creator of my life. So healing.
Another realization is: If you want to heal the planet, you must take care of your self in the best way you can so that you heal yourself. Because, you in fact, are a part of the planet. I never wanted to buy new clothes because: sweat shops! Reuse! What a waste! Corporations feeding on idealized beauty standards so let’s rebel against them! You get the point. And I also knew that in my profession (instructor) one of the number one feedback pieces from students Iâd get on what needs to be improved is how I dress. They werenât taking me seriously in my linen pants and colorful flowy shirts. So I went to Kohlâs and bought full priced black and white clothes for the first time (ever). Every time I put them on, knowing no body else lived in them, empowers me as the professional woman I am. And how Iâm worth looking like I know what Iâm doing (because I do ). It changed how I walk out into the world. It changed my affect on people in a positive way, therefore the planet. Another feeling of relief. So healing.
I donât eat meat with every meal, and am waste conscious. I still honor my body by eating what it likes. I still shop at consignment stores when I want. I no longer feel guilty about buying something brand new at full price. Both. And.
And now Iâm leaning into another layer of self care.
We all know alot of self-help agenda people (including me (Holla)) like to remind you of the rudimentary-ness of self care like boundaries, saying no, taking things out of your life that no longer serve you, saying FUCK YES when you get that full body yes. And Iâm also here to remind you of the lightness of self care. The celebration of you. (Really all of it is celebration of you…and then thereâs like fluffy celebration)
After drowning in beauty products, then miles away, Iâm leaning into the beauty isles at target once more. Because I define my own standard of beauty. And hey, so do you. Beauty is defined from within, without outside influence. Fancy right? I created that affirmation 6 months into massage school. Iâm leaning into self care as pleasure, like buying myself a cute ass face mask (like cleansing mask not covid required mask) (a mask without sulfates âcause even though Iâm no longer a hairstylist, ya girl still knows whatâs good and whatâs not), home making a hair scrub, laying down with my feet propped up the wall, listening to music and just.. Relishing in the fact that Iâm a fuckinâ Queen.
So what I want to get at here is that as you go through your life, your needs and wants are gonna change. And itâs up to you to not get caught up within a certain identity and to instead change with your current reality. To keep an eye on being a rebel as an identity because being a rebel can be its own cage. And to C E L E B R A T E you first, because you’re the main event. You know youâll always be Earth conscious and people conscious and white supremacy conscious and we must dismantle the current government system conscious. So take a break from it all once and a while and put some avocado on your face and lay down.
Do what brings you JOY even if at one time in your life it brought you disdain. Youâre allowed to change. Throw away that piece of plastic instead of recycling it if itâs easier right now. That ease will lift the vibrational field around you raising the collective to a higher state of being, thus reducing our footprint. Do what lights you up because thatâs whatâs gonna heal the planet. More LIGHT. Donât let yourself get caught up in whatever cause youâre invested in letting it be another thing you feel guilty about. Have fun. Have A LOT of it. Do what works for you until it doesnât work. Check-in frequently, really listen. Show up as your whole self. Itâll all balance out as you go, I promise. Your must is to do what really truly feels good (even if itâs hard) (especially if it goes against a current belief), do what lights you up, and brings you joy. Honoring you and your shifts honors the planet and her shifts. Healing you, heals every one, heals our Mother. You donât have to be the change that you wish to see in the world all the time.. Be you as you are in each moment. Youâre always Loved and thatâs always enough.