Hey. You’re not alone. To reach a high state of bliss and trust within and then abandon yourself for some old construct that just looks so seductively tempting. To go and see some people who really don’t see you. (Even though you see them as clearly as ever.) I felt myself not listen. You know what I’m talking about? The driving down the road pretending like you don’t hear your own beautiful voice gently nudging you to stop in a parking lot and text someone you know would tell you to turn the hell around and go home and dance? Yeah, lemme just turn my music up.
Yeah, I’m with you. I’m with you.
So we go through with the shitty action. We come home and haven’t acknowledged the apathy that is ever so slightly pushing down any and all feelings. But we know it’s there. What can we do? Well first, we can realize what we did. Usually in 25 minutes into a shower, sometimes sitting down..in the shower. We can drop the bullshit and admit to ourselves that…“oops, I fucked up. I know better now. That didn’t need to happen like that.” And then we can admit that it did happen that way and we can move forward. Because that’s really the way to go in this moment. We can’t change the past- I’ve tried, and I’m guessing you have too, since you’re here. So, admiting to it. Admit to there’s nothing we can change about the past. Then, Forgive. Forgive yourself, my Love. Use this pain, this sorrow, let go of beating yourself up. You’re cleared. You’re good. You’re still learning. Use this pain to fuel your gusto into really getting it. Really getting into yourself. To being okay with trusting your cues to stay away from your parents house or leave the relationship, whatever it is. You’re still Loved. Do you hear me? You’re still Loved. I get it. I’m with you. Stay with me. Stay with you. We’ve got each other.