Life’s always uncertain. It’s easy to forget that, usually. Right now though it seems like the planet is getting really good at reminding us that, indeed, life is always uncertain. It’s a main theme nowadays. I wrote a sticky note reminder about it when I was in a very blissful state. Unknowingly writing it for future Stephanie. 3 days later, future Stephanie. For when more change happens. And if you’re like me, you’re used to going from one extreme to the other. This way of living, going from one extreme to the other, is exhausting. I feel you.
For me, it wraps into clinging to the idea of certainty and control. And having a knack for the dramatic. I cling to some level of certainty whenever I can see it. It calms the part of me that likes to be in control. The thing is though, we’re not in control of anything happening around us. (hold onto your seat if this is a new concept to you. You’ll be okay, I promise.) And everything is uncertain. It only seems that way when we let ourselves believe we can control others, events, and the world around us. Until something happens so beyond what we consider to be in our control, it smacks us and says, “Hello! You were never in control in the first place. You only thought you were.” This is the point where I can become dramatic and turn into the “woe is me” person. I’m sure you get what I’m talking about. Maybe even been there yourself.
I’ve learned some things though. One is, starting from step one of we’re not in control of other people ever. Another is, reminding myself of the things I can count on to be able to control. Like my own thoughts, actions, and energy. If you tend to want to be on the controlling side of situations, you totally get me here. Find ways to revert that energy from outward to inward. It’s easy, I Find, to realize these concepts when life is smooth. Maybe even remember that life is always uncertain and there’s nothing I can do about it and be..okay with it. It’s another story to remember and be okay with it when life throws curveballs.
That’s where faith and work comes in. Faith is the antidote to uncertainty. Trust is the antidote to anxiety(which comes from thinking you lost control). That’s why you practice your faith when it’s easy. You practice focusing your thoughts and directing your energy towards your dreams when you feel good. So when change comes and knocks you off balance a bit, you can put your practice into action. Faith and trust are muscles, like multifidi(my fav body muscle). You need to exercise them to create a memory of action. The more you work it, the easier it is to engage it when needed. The more you lean into faith that everything is working out for your highest good, the easier it is not to cringe at the word surrender. Maybe even…let it happen.
So here’s your insight into practice, because passivity gets you nowhere. Practice and action gets you moving. Next time you’re feeling good. I mean relaxed, there may be a sense of peace, in the bathtub, or when you wake up in the morning, or after a good book.. Set a timer for 3 small minutes and focus on one thing. It can be an object in your environment, a value within yourself, an affirmation. Whatever it is, for three minutes, focus on it. Every time you lose focus (because it happens) be gentle and re-focus. This is how you flex your focus muscle so in times of unbalance you stay in control of you and how you respond to life.